When did you last go on a date…with yourself?

Last week I went on a solo hike while I was out in Sequoia. It rocked. I love hiking with my friends, but there’s something about taking off just me on my own that feels totally delicious. Like I’ve hooked up with an old friend I haven’t caught up with for a while.

It got me to thinking about the importance of taking the time to hang out with just ourselves.

So this post is all about that: Dating yourself.

I remember my first date with myself. I took myself off to a talk at a book shop by one of my favourite authors. I was so nervous about going on my own. I wanted to chicken out, wanted to curl up at home and just read a book. But I’d made a commitment. This was a ‘date with myself’ and I wasn’t prepared to stand myself up.

I’ll never forget the sense of achievement at the end of the night. The feeling of empowerment, the feeling of connection with myself. I had treated myself to a night out the way I only ever normally treated a good friend or a partner.

It was the start of a blossoming relationship with myself.

The stronger and more nourishing our relationships with ourselves are, the better our choices in life. When we become our own best friends, lovers, companions, partners, protectors, soulmates, we choose the very best situations, roles, activities, places and people to fill our lives with. We don’t put up with crap, we don’t give ourselves a hard time, we don’t try to be what we think other people want us to be, we play by our own rules, follow our own dreams. We do what is best for us as a whole.

The more time we spend with ourselves, connecting to our deeper selves, the more we listen to what we truly want, the easier it is to guide ourselves in directions that make us truly happy.

So go and have a date with yourself. Treat yourself to some quality time with you and yourself. A trip to an art gallery, a walk in the hills, a date at the cinema, dinner at that restaurant you’ve been eyeing up, a ticket to see your favourite band.

You might find the idea of it challenging at first. But this is time to start enjoying being with you. To enjoy being you. This is time to start trusting yourself, to be happy in your own company. In that space of self-companionship you’ll start to have some important conversations with yourself.

So off you go.

Put a date in your diary this week to take yourself out on a date with yourself and you’ll see just what I mean. It’s powerful stuff. 

And then make it a monthly, if not weekly, practice.

x Selina


Selina Barker