Let’s make mistakes!

“Mistakes are the portals of discovery”

                                                                                                    — James Joyce

When you set out to bring a dream to life, to make one of your ideas happen, find that career doing something you love, you have no idea at first how you’re going to get to the end of that rainbow. You really don’t. You’ll take one path, which you feel certain is the way, only to find it’s a dead end and then, half heartedly, you’ll head down another path, convinced it’s pointless, it’s going to screw up and… ta-daaaaaa. You’ve made it.

So while plenty of people are out there saying ‘here are my secrets to how to avoid making mistakes’ I’m saying don’t.

Don’t avoid making mistakes.

You’ve got to make mistakes.

It’s out of mistakes that the great stuff happens. You crack out of that crunchy armour that’s been holding you back, you burn away layers in that ring of fire, you learn, you grow.

Your ego will take a knock. Expect that. But show your ego just how much pride you can muster from falling down and getting right back up.

Make mistakes. Embrace ‘mistakes’. Because usually they’re not mistakes at all, they are what needed to happen at that time to wake you up, help you grow, burn away some of that ego that has been holding you back.

You need to get comfortable with the idea that you’ll probably make mistakes along the way.

Are you afraid of what people might think, what they might say, how they might laugh as they watch from the sidelines and you take a wrong turn? Well then, remember this, if those people have the time to stand on the sidelines and watch you playing your game, then it’s likely they’re not on the court at all. Which would you rather be in life? Player or audience?

Six years ago I made the biggest mistake of my life. Or so I thought. I took a gamble. A massive one. And it back-fired. Big time. It cost me my health, my relationship, friendships and tested the love of my family. It burnt me to the ground. When I stepped out of the debris that that mistake had created I was a different person. I thought my life had turned upside down. Now as I look back I’d say that was the moment where my life turned the right way up.

I was 25, alone, jobless, broken. I wanted to press stop. Game over. I had nothing. I had fallen out of love with life. I didn’t care any more what others thought, what others thought I should do.

I didn’t care.


That was the moment I began to create my life, made in the moment, to my own rules, from the heart. While my ego lay battered, bruised and broken with shame and embarrassment, my heart and soul saw it as their moment. To make their move and jump into the driving seat.

That was when it all began.

If I were to live my life again, would I make that same mistake? Yes, I choose it. With all my heart. That mistake changed my life. It taught me some of my biggest lessons that are at the heart of how I live my life today and I truly did grow stronger (not tougher, stronger) as a result. And itbrought some of the most wonderful experiences, people and friendships into my life.

Take risks, make mistakes, dare to screw up, because, as James Joyce said, every time you make a mistake, you’re opening up a door to discovery.

So give yourself permission now. Permission to make mistakes.

Then ask yourself what have you been avoiding doing for fear of making mistakes?

Share it here on this page and then go and do it and see what comes out of it.

x Selina

What would you like me to write about next?

I want to turn things around a little over the next month. Rather than dipping in deep and pondering on my own discoveries, finding answers to my own questions, I want to bring more of my coaching to these jam sessions and invite you to shoot over your questions and quandries. What are your big questions right now? What do you want to throw onto the table for discussion? Where are you stuck and looking for some fresh inspiration and a gun for hire to help you blitz this block in your life?

Use me. Juicy Tuesdays are free. So take full advantage.

Let’s crank up this love on loop. Send questions my way and I’ll pluck one out of the lucky dip every Tuesday for the rest of March.

Selina Barker