Why friends and family are the most likely to tell you your plan for a career change is silly

Today’s video from me was triggered by an email from yet another client who had skipped off full of excitement about their new plan for changing their career only to be met by raised eye brows and mutterings of ‘aren’t you being a bit idealistic, do you really think you can do that’ kind of nonsense that always seems to come from the family and friends you most want to receive support and approval from.

After over 8 years of helping people craft new career paths for themselves I can only say that this just seems to be the way things go: your friends and family are the most likely to tell you your big new exciting career plans are silly.

I’ve shot a video all about why this happens and what to do if it does and I’ve included the email response below that I wrote to my lovely client who, I am glad to say, once she heard that that just happens, she shot off and has been starting to get that plan in motion so that that ‘silly idea’ will one day be the life that she lives and loves : )

So watch the video, read the email I wrote to my client and forgive your friends and family that try to sabotage your attempts to forge a new career path – they’re only human ; )

x Selina

Email to my lovely client

Yep, that’s the usual. I could write a whole book on why people like to plunge a pin into our ideas. Let me ask you first – those that said ‘you can’t have your cake and eat it, don’t be silly, proper jobs and fun don’t go together’ – do any of those do work they love? Are any of those people who you really admire in the work they do and how much they love it?

Consider why they are saying that. Here are usually the reasons:

1) to protect you (possibly) because they see you in a nice safe and secure job and you jumping out of that feels scarey to them – this is usually family, partners, people that feel protective over you and want to see you safe ie not moving.

2) they are miserable in their jobs, their perspective on careers and what it can be like are extremely limited. They need to believe that work and fun can’t be combined, that it’s silly to want to work from home/cafe or anywhere in the world, that it’s dangerous to dare to imagine having work that you love because it’ll make you dissatisfied with what you have and what oyu have is safe. If you jump ship and show them you CAN have your cake and eat it (which FYI is one of my sayings when it comes to career) then imagine what that will do to them – they will have to face the fact that they have a job they don’t like OUT OF CHOICE because you are now showing them they CAN change and do something they love. They will try and stop you at all costs from doign that. They might not realise they are doing it.

I can’t tell you how much I see this. You are going to have to choose among other things to believe in another way and surroundyourself with people already living that way. I had to do that too at first and then once I’d done it I started inspiring my friends to do it too. By the way I am sitting in a cafe right now working sitting next to a greatfriend of mine who jumped ship a few years ago out of a permanent job and into contract work while making a film. Last year we were togehter in Buenos Aires for a month, working from cafes. Because we can. Because we decided not to belive it was silly. YOU belong with us. I know this is hard. You’ll have moments like this, a lot at first, but stick with it, the start is the hardest part. Once you get that ball rolling then you’re on your way to making your dream a reality. Like we did.

And you’ve inspired a blog post in me – watch out for the next one – it’s going ot be dedicated to you ; )

Selina Barker