What do you need to learn next to help you grow?

I have had a big breakthrough over the past couple of weeks.

It happened after I finally had to swallow the cold hard truth that, while I may be a great coach and designer of online courses, I am NOT a natural online business woman. I’m just not. I have resisted acknowledging this for a very very long time. And doing so has kept me totally stuck.

Rule #1 when you’re stuck? Admit it. Admit that you can’t figure it out on your own. Admit that you need help.
Rule #2 Go get help. Find your teachers, coaches and inspiration. Do courses, go to workshops, hire people to help you.

THAT is how you will get yourself unstuck and bring about the changes you want to see happen in your life.

For some reason the admitting-you can’t-do-it-on-your-own-and-you-need-help part is really hard for a lot of us to do and that very much includes me.


Well for me it’s the belief that I ‘should’ be able to figure stuff out on my own now that I’m all grown up and (this part is uncomfortable to admit) the belief that no-one can teach me anything…because I’m smart enough to figure it out on my own thank you very much (some kind of left-over rebellion in reaction to a disappointing education).

In other words, my pride gets in the way.

And this is what I find with many of my clients who have been struggling in life, love or career for years before they come and seek me out to help them. Their pride told them that they shouldn’t need help. That it is some kind of weakness to not be able to figure it out on your own.

But once you break through the discomfort and admit ‘I need someone to show me how to do this’ ‘ I need help in changing this area in my life’ everything changes.

I see it in my clients and I’ve experienced it in myself these last couple of weeks: the excitement that comes with finally giving yourself permission to be a student, to be a beginner and to learn.

Because as human beings we come alive when we are learning. We love it. Learning and growing is what we’re all about.

So take a moment now and think about an area of your life where you really want to see a change. It might be career, lifestyle, love life, business, money, health.

Then give yourself permission to make 2015 the year where you proactively study this area of life and find teachers, courses, workshops, coaching programmes that will help you to make this change in your life.

And make sure you find the right teachers for you. This is essential. Ones that share your values, ones that inspire you and whose lives, careers, businesses or relationships are ones that you would love to have yourself. Learn from those ones.

Here is a quick rundown of some of my own teachers.

Teachers and courses that I recommend

For all you solopreneurs

1.The Overachiever’s Guide to Success by Jen Gresham. Jen is SO insightful and wise when it comes to understanding what it takes to truly feel ‘successful’ (see my interview with her here). With ‘The Overachievers Guide to Meaningful Success’ you’ll figure out what success really looks like to you. So so SO important.

2. Blogging for Business Bootcamp – I’m currently doing this 4 week online course with the wonderful Jo Gifford (aka Dextrous Diva)and it is already having a huge impact on me.

3. Webtech Wonderwoman – everyone should have Jenny on their team. She is a genuine super hero – she single-handedly defeated my hackers while setting up my Project You e-junkie system and kept me calm the whole way through. And if technology is something that has you breaking out in a cold sweat then she is your ultimate teacher. Find out what you can learn from her over at www.webtechwonderwoman.com

4. Free Range Humans – I’ve recommend Marianne millions of times. If you haven’t read Free Range Humans then buy it for yourself this Christmas and check out her courses over at http://www.free-range-humans.com/ – this woman makes marketing feel like a party! I’m doing her mini-MBA over the xmas break and I’ll let you know how it goes!

5. Public Speaking Course (in London)
The reason I am looking forward to a year of running workshops and doing talks in 2015 is entirely down to this public speaking course that I did with Gingerpublicspeaking.com. It totally cured me of my crippling stage fright and therefore reluctance to do any workshops or talks at all. Now I can’t get enough of them! When you have fears – learn your way around them. It works!

For all you single ladies looking for love

6. Love coach
Book yourself in with Vicki Burtt. She worked total magic on me. And in those days she was just a budding coach herself. But boy does she have the knack. So much so that we’ve now teamed up and Project LOVE will be launching soon. But in the meantime, if you want to turn your love life around then get in touch with Vicki and book yourself in for a session: VickiBurtt.com

For all you wannabe coaches

7. The Coaching School

FINALLY I can recommend a coaching course to all you budding coaches!  I have been looking for a good coaching training programme to recommend to people for years and now I have one: The Coaching School is run by the wonderful coach Phil Bolton. I’ve already sent people his way to do his coaching training course and it has been life changing.
The next programme in launching in late January 2015 – to find out more- www.thecoachingschool.co.uk oremail phil@thecoachingschool.co.uk

Selina Barker