The joys & challenges of changing career & becoming your own boss

Here is the first of my interviews by one of you guys!

Introducing Lauren Davey who I met about a year ago and who since then has been through a coaching programme and online coaching course with me and is well on her way to a new free range way of living and working - check out her blog lauren-davey.com

She gathered in questions from her own online community and we spent a fun 55 minutes talking about making a career change, finding yourself again, managing time and finances when you make a change and how to handle the unexpected overwhelm and guilt when you do finally have the freedom you dreamed of and a whole lot more.

Watch the video above and as ever, let me know which parts strike a chord for you.

And if you are feeling like it’s time for you to really get that career change started, then head on over to my coaching page and put your name down to talk to me about the Momentum Programme - my 6 week 1-on-1 coaching programme.

If you're ready to make that change, I'm ready to help you!

x Selina

What to do when you know it's time for a career change, but you don't know where to start

A couple of weeks ago I got together with the wonderful Emma Calvert AKA Miss Manifestation (check out what she's up to over at missmanifestation.com) to talk about the journey of career change. She wanted to know what my own story was when it came to finding a career that I love and what I saw as the key phases of career change and how to find your passion when you haven't got a clue of what it might be.

I loved doing this interview and I hope you enjoy it too. And it got me thinking that I would like to do an interview like this, about how to find and create a career you love, every month and share it with you guys. My life is pretty taken up with these days with Project Love, but I never want to stop sharing my tips and guidance on how to find work you love.

So I'd like to offer any of you reading this now the opportunity to jump on skype with me over the following months and pick my brains. You don't have to have a blog with thousands of followers. In fact you don't have to have a blog at all. You just have to be excited about the idea of playing at being an interviewer and having a good juicy chat about how to find work you love, whether you've already been through the journey yourself or are right at the start.

If you're keen to be one of my interviewers then just drop me a line in the contact form at the bottom of the page.

And now, here is the interview. Let me know which parts really strike a chord with you.

x Selina

P.S. I have a few coaching slots available at the moment, so if you're interested also drop me a line in the contact page at the bottom.

Contact me about coaching or interviewing me

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2 years ago she came to me in tears...now look how far she has come

This week has been a buzz of exciting activity as we get ready for the launch of this year's Free Range Human 'Ideas Adventure' (it goes on sale TODAY at 7pm UK time! More details on that below), but I took some time out, in amongst it all, to talk to Stacey - a fabulous lady that I coached after she called me tears two years ago, desperate to leave her job, but with no idea of what else she could do.

She walked out of that memorable session feeling like she had been set free, excited for what lay ahead, realising that she had full permission to leave that job and to never have to do work that made her miserable again. Two weeks later she had signed up to the Ideas Adventure and it was during that course that she mapped out a future for herself that had her standing on stage, jet-setting all over the world and living a life that she loved.

That is the life she is now living today and wow has she thrived! Just see for yourself.

Here she is interviewing me and together we tell her story of how she made that change, how the Ideas Adventure made such a huge difference and how so much of it is to do with learning the right tools and shifting your mindset.

Watch the video below and be inspired!

And if you've always dreamed of being your own boss and doing work that you love, then let's start making it happen. The Ideas Adventure goes on sale today at 7pm UK time. For the next 48 hours you'll get it at its lowest price and with a complimentary massage thrown in (I love that part)!

HEAD OVER TO www.free-range-humans.com/ideasadventure at 7PM today and a sales page will magically appear (or leave your email address now and we'll send you a reminder at 7pm).

Let's go!

x Selina

 

Are you ready to come up with a business idea you love?

There is nothing more excruciating, frustrating and time-consuming than trying to come up with the perfect business idea that will finally allow you to quit your job.

Endless nights of lying awake, trying to figure it out, coming up with ideas and then reasons why those ideas won’t work.

Hours trawling the internet, reading books, maybe even doing the occasional weekend course hoping that it will spark an epiphany.

And yet the years pass by and you’re still in that job, still dreaming of what it would be like to be your own boss and do something you love.

You’d quit tomorrow if you could just figure out what to do instead.

Sound familiar?

Well if this is you, then you’re not alone.

Most people get stuck in this vicious cycle, going round and round in circles, often for years, feeling more and more like it’s never going to happen.

And the harsh truth of the matter is that, if you keep doing what you’re doing, it probably won’t ever happen.

I have been helping people come up with business ideas now for over 6 years. I have lead well over 1000 people through online courses designed to help them once and for all get clarity around what they want to do and get into action.

And what I know is that it doesn’t matter how smart you are, how creative you are or how successful you are in your day job, you will not figure out your business idea by thinking and brainstorming alone.

It doesn’t work.

You need to take action, you need to try things out and you need to get help when you’re stuck.

This is the one people struggle with the most: asking for help.

Most of us seem to have an inbuilt resistance to asking for help, as if it is admitting weakness.

But getting the help we need is the secret to creating a successful business. When you talk to people who run successful businesses, you discover they get help on almost everything. And we need to have that willingness to get the help that we need right from the start.

And the person I have turned to most for business help in the past 10 years, whether it’s coming up with a new one or growing one I’ve already got, is  Marianne Cantwell of Free Range Humans.

She is laser-sharp on seeing what is missing, brings fresh options to the table which I’ve never thought of and always manages to help me not only find a path forward, but a path that feels really right for me.

She did it for me again just the other day and yet again it blew me away at how quickly she was able to show me what was missing and what was needed. And the relief that comes with that is just priceless.

Likewise I’m one of the people she turns to when she’s stuck and needs my help in getting to the heart of the matter. She calls me the coach that other coaches turn to.

That’s why I love it when I get the chance to work with Marianne, teaming up to help others figure out what they want to do with their careers, whether they have dreams of running their own business (if only they could figure out what business), escaping a 9 to 5 office job (when that’s all they’ve ever known) or simply doing something they love and earning a living from it (if only they could figure out WHAT that thing might be).

Together we are a dynamo and we know it ; ) because we know, first hand, the power that the other one has in identifying what is missing and what is needed, the ability we each have to create great ideas where moments ago there seemed to be no options at all. And we relish watching one another work our magic on the participants in our courses.

That’s why I’m so excited to be joining Marianne in just a few weeks time as we run the Free Range Humans ‘Ideas Adventure’ course together.

Run just once a year, it’s a course designed specifically for people who know that they want to be doing something they love, but are stuck in that horrible hole of not being able to figure out WHAT – either because they have no idea what to do or have too many ideas and don’t know which one to go for.
It turns the nightmare of not knowing what to do into a fun and powerful adventure of finally figuring it out.

We have run it together over the past two years and every time it rocks my own expectations in terms of the results people get. And there is something so powerful about bringing people together who are in the same boat. There is nothing quite like it. The confidence and motivation that everyone gets from it is amazing.

We’ll be releasing full details of it soon so if you want to find out more then drop your name in the link below and you’ll be the first to find out: 

SIGN UP HERE IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN THE IDEAS ADVENTURE

In the meantime, if you’re lying awake every night trying to figure out what the hell you’re going to do with your life and feeling like you’re not getting anywhere, then will you please give yourself permission to STOP.

Get into action, get help and try things out.

That is how you will come up with a business idea you love.

x Selina

The 4 myths that could be stopping you from starting your own business

With spring in the air I felt it was high time I brush the dust off my camera and shoot a video (from an unflatteringly low angle!) and talk about one of my favourite topics: starting your own business.

It's the dream for so many of us to be our own boss and run our own show, but it can feel like such an impossible dream sometimes.

How would you do it when you have bills to pay and at least one mouth to feed if not more? You can't just quit your job like some people can. And what would you do? If only you could come up with a brilliant business idea, but how are you supposed to do that?

But actually the problem for most people, what really gets them stuck, is what they believe they need in order to start a business.

And often they are wrong.

And that is the focus of today's video: I am busting the top 4 myths that could be stopping you from starting your own business

If you daydream of the idea of being your own boss and running your own business, then watch this 9 minute video and make sure that you aren't stopping that dream from happing by holding onto one of these 4 myths about what it takes to start a business.

And if you are starting to feel like now is the time to start your own business and figure out what that business can be - one that you will really enjoy running - then stay tuned...something is on its way to help you do exactly that.

x Selina

What I've been saying over on Project Love

Most of my writing happens these days over on Project Love (don't worry I'll be picking up my monthly blog dates again here - just needed some time off to get used to being a mum for the first time!) and so I wanted to give you a quick link to what I've been writing and podcasting over there...

‘Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016 – your end-of-year guide – is here!

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Well here we are, coming to the end of another year and getting ready to step into a fresh new one.

I love this time of year, not just for the festivities and twinkling lights, but because this is the time of year where we all collectively take a step back and reflect on our lives and what we want to create in the year that is to come.

And over the past 5 years it has become a tradition of mine to send out a little end-of-year guide to you all called GOODBYE 2015 HELLO 2016

For those of you who haven’t done itbefore, ‘Goodbye 2015, Hello 2016’  takes you through a series of questions that have you reflecting on the year that you’ve just been through: how you’ve grown, what you’re grateful for, the experiences you’ve had and all that you’ve learnt. And then it takes you through a simple life design process where you look to the future and decide what it is you want to create next in your life, setting an intention that inspires you with practical commitments to do daily, weekly, monthly and at least once inthe year that will bring that intention to life.

It’s a really beautiful and surprisingly powerful exercise.

It’s now my fifth year of sharing this and I am loving how year after year more and more people are joining in and doing it from countries all over the world. Last year there were people in the UK, Israel, Argentina, USA, Canada, India, Australia and more doing it. So I look forward to seeing who does it this year.

A few weeks into the new year I’ll host a life design video session to to talk in more detail about how to design a year you’ll love and I’ll also be opening up shop again and offering 121 career/life design strategy sessions. So if you want to get in there ahead of time drop me a line now and I’ll book in a telephone call with you for when I’m back.

For download your copy of GOODBYE 2015 HELLO 2016 and enjoy!

Much love,
Selina

If you want to learn how to grow a big online audience,then join me in doing this course!

So I’ve got the big vision set. I’ve got clear on the intention. And I’ve got the notebook.

Now to get the help, guidance and training I need to bring that vision to life…
First up on my list is a lady who is one of the best teachers out there when it comes to creating an online business of your own and who, as chance would have it (perfect timing for me) has just launched a course that helps people really get their blog-based businesses off the ground.

The lady I’m talking about is none other than the Dextrous Diva – Jo Gifford.

Jo is a black belt in the art of working smart, making big things happen when you have very limited time (she is a mother of twins and has a chronic illness which she works around – enough said!) and growing a huge audience while being totally and utterly yourself.

The beauty and power of Jo is that she makes that big dream seem doable and she gives you the tools to do it.

She has tens of thousands of followers and her vibrant community just keeps growing. What I want to know is how the hell does she do it and can I do it for Project Love too please?

 

Luckily that is exactly what her 6 week course – ‘Blogging for Business Bootcamp Live’ is all about.
So we are definitely doing the course to help us really get Project Love out there and growing as a business (it couldn’t have come at a more perfect time). And if you are ready to attract and grow your own audience, so that you can grow a business you can live from, then come and do the course with us!

Because if there is one thing I’ve learnt about growing your own business: you need to invest in training and coaching.
You won’t know how to do it all, you’re not supposed to know how to do it all. You just need to find the right teachers that will show you what to do.

And then DO it.

So if you want to come and do this course while we do it, then head over to dexterousdiva.co.uk/bootcamp to find out more and sign up – it starts this coming Monday!
X Selina

What I always do to kick-off a new chapter in my life

I always start a new chapter in my life the same way: with a notebook.

My notebooks are my power tools. I have them going back for years and keep them all. They contain the early seeds of every dream I’ve had and it’s in the pages of those notebooks that the dreams takeshape.

So when I turn the page of a new chapter in life. When it’s time to plant the seed of a big new dream.

I buy a new notebook.

This is the latest:

Orange, leather bound and with my initial embossed on the front.
This notepad means business.

My next ritual, in marking the start of a new chapter, is to set the intention and write it in the front page.

My latest intention is a big one. I don’t need to know how I’m going to get there, I just have to be able to feel the power of it – that it comes from the heart and that it feels right. That this is the next big stretch that will have me grow and expand. And that I’m ready for it.

Here is the intention you’ll find in my new notebook:

To turn Project Love into a seriously juicy brand and business with a huge audience, a thriving and buzzing community and a line of products and services that fly off the shelves – ones that really make a difference to the women that buy them so that they tell all their friends about them.

Writing an intention always feels like casting a spell. There is magic, boldness and power to it.

The moment it is written the magic begins.

As the last word of the intention hits the page I start to feel all the ways that I don’t believe it rise to the surface. And so the games commence.

This first part is all about facing the fears and doubts and limited beliefs I have about myself and what is possible. The ones that stand between me and this dream becoming a reality. The beliefs, doubts and fears that say ‘this is never going to happen. Not to you’

These are always going to come up no matter what the dream is. So when they do, the secret is not to ignore them and not to run from them. But to listen to them and let them guide you towards the help and guidance you need to bring your dream to life.

This first phase can be divided into 3 parts:
1. Dealing with the doubting demons within and clearing them away
2. Getting into the mindset of people who have achieved what you’re setting out to do so that you start thinking and operating like them
3. Finding the practical guidance and training you need to make it all happen.

And so this is the journey I am now on and will be for the next few years.

So now you know the game I’m playing, what is yours?

What do you want to have happen in your life next? What is calling to you? What dream do you want to bring to life? What will that dream be like?

It doesn’t have to be a big dream. In fact if you’re new to this, start with something small.

Then buy yourself a notepad andwrite that intention into the front page and let the magic begin…

x Selina

How to build a life and career you love – my video interview with MouniaBG TV

A few months ago I was interviewed by MouniaBG TV and we had a great time waxing lyrical about how to build a life and career you love.

Now the interview is up online so you can get in on the conversation too – it’s 40 minutes of juiciness!

Have a watch and let us know what you think by leaving your comments below and if you like it spread the love!

   Tweet it out! “Living a life you love doesn’t happen by accident…you have to build it” @selinabarker http://bit.ly/1B0Fgsg

x Selina

It’s time to listen to your heart and do what you love in life

Right at this moment we are busily preparing the Get Ready for Love digital programme over at Project Love (come and check us out if you haven’t already!) that will be going on sale this June.

And so I’ve been spending the last few weeks totally absorbed in the writing process and feeling such a sense of love and gratitude as I do so.

Because this is me doing what I love. Totally immersed in a creative process that makes my heart sing and makes me come alive.

This is my job.

And it has inspired today’s blog post.

It’s time to listen to your heart and DO what you love in life.

Because when you find work you love to do, you will find a source of love that will sustain you for life.

So find the things you love to do and let that make up your day to day. Let that lie at the heart of the work that you do and the way you earn a living. Because when you do that you align yourself with love, you fill your life with it and you shine.

Find a deeply happy person and you’ll find them doing what they love in life.

I love my work. I am so passionate and dedicated to what I do: the writing, the coaching, the guiding, the course designing. All of it.

For ten years now this has been what I’ve dedicated myself to and while it’s not without its challenges at times, my work is truly a labour of love. More and more so.

Now this might feel like a million miles off from your experience of work at the moment and once upon a time I would have felt the same. And you speak to anyone who loves what they do now and you’ll find most of them will get it too – they will once have been on a path in life doing things that just didn’t make their hearts sing either.

And so at some point they will have had to have made a choice.

A choice to change.

A choice to listen in to their heart and let it set new coordinates for them.

And choosing to follow those new coordinates can at first feel terrifying.

It often means letting go of what has become familiar, what feels safe and secure and trade it in for the unknown and uncertain.

It means no longer looking to the world around you for guidance but trusting your own inner guidance that comes from your heart and daring to follow that. Doing that for the first time takes serious courage and actually I found out to my delight the other day (via the wonderful Brene Brown) that the root of the word courage is ‘cor’ – the latin word for heart. It makes sense.

The early days ARE often scary, but this I know: people that have taken the risk, faced their fears and followed the course their hearts want to take, no matter how scary and uncertain it might at first seem, never ever regret it.

Because despite the courage it might first take and the fears you might have to face along the way, when you start to takeyour cues from your heart and soul, something magical happens: You start to experience what it really is to feel free. You discover inner resources of strength, creativity, courage and wisdom that you perhaps didn’t know you had.

And above all you find a source of love that will last you a life time.

So if you’re NOT doing what you love in life at the moment,  then stop, pause, breeeeathe, take a step back and a step inside and listen in to what your heart is telling you to do.

And then go and do that.

Because your heart knows what will make you truly happy.

x Selina

How to avoid going crazy when you have a million and one things to do…on a permanent basis!

Are you one of those people that seems to have a million plates up in the air spinning at the same time ALL the time?

Do you feel like you’re constantly going at an almighty speed to keep on top of things? Do you secretly buzz off it? Do you think it might send you crazy one of these days? Do people keep telling you you have to slow down or you’ll make yourself ill?

Then you’re just like the client I had the other week and today I want to share with you the plan we came up with to help her manage all the many spinning plates in her life without costing her her health and sanity!

Because here is the thing: In her particular case she doesn’t want to stop spinning those plates. She enjoys having all those plates to spin, but she also knows it’s not good for her and it’s been making her ill.

Let me first start by saying that if you are a high-energy, fast-performing individual who seems to work at the speed of light, then you’ll often hear people telling you to slow down if it looks like it’s making you ill.

But actually it’s often NOT the pace you’re working at that is the problem. That IS some people’s natural pace and asking them to slow down is asking them to work against what is natural and in flow for them. It’s like asking a cheetah to just take it easy and slow down to a trot when chasing an animal. It’s just not natural.

It’s just going to stress that cheetah out.

What you need to do is learn how to move at that speed with regular pit stops to recharge, release stress and get back into your body, thus maintaining balance.

You can keep running at your high-energy pace but break it up with regular pit-stops, time-outs or what my client cleverly described as “two minute moments”.

In fact for her we came up with a 2-minute-moment toolkit. A number of activities that she can do, while at her desk or out and about, to release stress, come back down to earth and into her body and reconnect with an inner calm and balance.

And I have totally taken this on myself!

On her 2 minute moment toolkit were the options to:
– stretch
– breathe
– walk outside and be still for a moment looking up at the sky
– dance for two minutes (more likely to be done when she was working from home rather than in her open-plan office!)

She could choose whichever she wanted in that moment.

What could you have in your ‘2-minute-moments’ toolkit?

Take a moment now and have a think about simple things that calm you, wake you up, shake you back into your body. It might be yoga, tai chi or qi gong poses (if you practice any of those), it might be singing or sketching, stroking the cat or meditating. I’ve known a CEO of a big company, who worked in an open-plan office, to keep a novel in an official looking file that he used to dip into for his regular 2-minute-moments because that always got him back into a space of relaxation and calm.

So find what works for you and give it a go this week and let me know what difference it makes.

A good little tip is to set an alarm on your computer or your phone to remind you three times a day to take a ‘2-minute-moment’.

Stop, pause, breathe.

Get back into your body and into this moment.

And when you’ve reconnected with that calm, you can leap back into action and run like that cheetah again!

Give it a try yourself today and tomorrow and let me know how it goes.

x Selina

P.S. For those of you that can make it to London I am running a ‘Yoga & Life Design’ workshop on 10th May with the wonderful Annabel Jones – my personal yoga teacher and the best I know! Head over here to find out more and grab a ticket – there are only 12 places and half have already sold out!

Where you’re probably wrong when trying to figure out what career will make you happy

People forget, when they’re not going through it, quite how painful it is:

That strong desire to be doing something different in life, but not being able to figure out what to do.

It’s excruciating.

Endless nights of lying awake, trying to figure it out, coming up with ideas and then reasons why that idea won’t work, or coming up with no ideas at all.

Hours trawling the internet, reading books, watching youtube videos on how to figure it out. That sense that you’re grasping, but you’re not sure what for, not feeling like you’re actually getting anywhere, that you’re just going round in circles.

And then there’s that fear beneath it all that perhaps you just won’t figure it out. Perhaps it’s just not for you, this whole having-a-job-you-love thing. Perhaps you should just give up and resign yourself to the fact that maybe you were just never going to enjoy work.

It can be depressing, exhausting and stressful. And if you’re going through it right now, let me just say, I feel your pain. I have been there, it is no fun. In fact, for me, that space where you feel stuck and are desperately trying to figure your way out, but feeling like nothing is working and that it’s all hopeless, is one of the worst places to be stuck in.

But let me also say, you could put an end to your misery overnight by doing one very simple thing:

Getting help from other actual real human beings.

It is so obvious, so simple and yet so often we um and ah and drag our heels before finally (and usually because we’ve worked ourselves up into a state of border-line hysteria) seek out help.

And what do I hear time and time again from people when they finally do that? I wish I’d done it sooner.

But we all do it. I still do it. I wait until I’ve got my knickers thoroughly in a twist and only then do I suddenly think to get help.

Go figure. It’s a human blip in our make-up.

So who do I turn to when I’m stuck and need someone to help me figure out the mess in my head and what it is I need to do next when it comes to career and business? Well, for the past 10 years there has been one lady in particular who has been on my speed dial: Marianne Cantwell of Free Range Humans.

She is laser-sharp on seeing what is missing, brings fresh options to the table which I’ve never thought of and always manages to help me not only find a path forward, but a path that feels really right for me.

She did it for me again just the other day and yet again it blew me away at how quickly she was able to show me what was missing and what was needed. And the relief that comes with that is just priceless.

Likewise I’m one of the people she turns to when she’s stuck and needs my help in getting to the heart of the matter. She calls me the coach that other coaches turn to.

That’s why I love it when I get the chance to work with Marianne, teaming up to help others figure out what they want to do with their careers, whether they have dreams of running their own business (if only they could figure out what business), escaping a 9 to 5 office job (when that’s all they’ve ever known) or simply doing something they love and earning a living from it (if only they could figure out WHAT that thing might be).

Together we are a dynamo and we know it ; ) because we know, first hand, the power that the other one has in identifying what is missing and what is needed, the ability we each have to create great ideas where moments ago there seemed to be no options at all. And we relish watching one another work our magic on the participants in our courses.

That’s why I’m so excited to be joining Marianne now in March as we run the Free Range Humans ‘Ideas Adventure’ course together.

This course has become something of a legend. Designed specifically for people who know that they want to be doing something they love, but are stuck in that horrible hole of not being able to figure out WHAT – either because they have no idea what to do or have too many ideas and don’t know which one to go for.

It turns the nightmare of not knowing what to do into a fun and powerful adventure of finally figuring it out.

We ran it together last year and it rocked even my own expectations in terms of the results people got. And there is something so powerful about bringing people together who are in the same boat. There is nothing quite like it. The buzz that everyone gets from it is amazing.

We’ll be releasing full details of it soon so if you want to find out more then drop your name here and you’ll be the first to find out:  www.free-range-humans.com/ideasadventureinvite/

In the meantime, if you’re lying awake every night trying to figure out what the hell you’re going to do with your life and feeling like you’re not getting anywhere, then will you please give yourself permission to STOP.

It doesn’t need to be nearly as hard as you’re making it.

All you need is to stop trying to do it all on your own.

x Selina

Tis the season for career change!

Tis the season for career change. After the festivities of Christmas and New Year have become distant memories, this is the time of year when those of us who are disgruntled with our careers really start to feel the pain. So for the next 3 months I’m focusing fully on helping all you career changers out there.

New Career Change Coaching options for you

I’m now offering three career change coaching options for you to choose from – come and check them out and email me at hello < at > selinabarker.com to arrange a chat to discuss the options and see which one would suit you best.

The brand new 3 month 1-2-1 Career Change Coaching Programme has limited spaces. I’ll be taking on just 10 new clients over the next 6 weeks and then doors close again. So if you want to really have me by your side for 3 months coaching you as you first figure out what new direction you want to take and then get firmly on that path, then now is your chance.

 

Free Online Career Change Clinic this Wednesday!

To celebrate this season of career change focus I’m throwing a Career Change Clinic on Wednesday 28th January, 7pm GMT. It’s free to sign up – the more the merrier. You can send in questions you’d like to see me answer, join me live (don’t worry I’m the only one that will be on video) and I’ll send you the recording afterwards if you happened to miss it.

x Selina

The project survival guide – how to make things happen without burning out!

I love this time of year. The dreaming is done and it’s time for action. We’ve all crawled out of the Christmas slumber and now it’s time to make this new year happen. Projects are on the go, big changes underway. People all around with big plans, determined to make them happen this year.

So I thought I better write a quick guide (slash essential reminder to myself) on how to take on projects on top of what you already have on your plate, and NOT burn out.

Because while January is the month of action, February is usually the month of burn out.

It is the biggest problem of people who have taken their life into their own hands and are making things happen. Because they usually have to learn the hard way that if you don’t know how to look after yourself, how to pace yourself, then you’ll last no more than about 6 weeks…if you’re lucky.

It’s like starting a marathon running at full speed. You might think you’re getting ahead, but in reality you are NOT going to get to that finish line.

So here is my survival guide to taking on projects and not burning out:

1. Eat well

When you’re focused on deadlines and feeling the pressures and stresses of a project that has you playing outside of your comfort zone (and they usually do to a certain degree), then if you’re anything like me, food becomes an after-thought and meals regularly get skipped. If that is your tendency then you need to change things around immediately.
FOOD IS YOUR FUEL. If you’re not eating well then you can’t be playing at your best. Food has the ability to keep us feeling energised, focused and alert OR sluggish, tired and foggy-headed. It’s all about what you eat, how you eat, when you eat. You don’t have to go far to find guidance on keeping yourself properly fuelled with food, so if you don’t know what food and eating habits your body, brain and emotions need to thrive then make THAT your next big project.

2. Take your sleep seriously

Get plenty of it and good quality. Going to bed late every nightto get a couple more things ticked off your list or because you can’t switch your brain off will do more damage than good in the long term. When you’re sleep deprived your brain works slower, you’re not as sharp and you’re not as productive. So catch those Zzzs to keep on top of your game. As Ariana Huffington says ‘sleep your way to the top’.

3. Find ways to unwind and de-stress (that don’t require alcohol)

It’s amazing how often when I ask clients what they do to relax and unwind and switch off from the day, they give the exact same answer I used to: glass of wine in front of the TV. It’s a false friend. You might think this is helping you to switch of, de-stress and chill out but it isn’t. Sitting mindlessly in front of the TV like that has you slumped in a numbed-out zombie-like start – it’s not recharging you or bringing you back into the here and now, which is what you need to be doing and the alcohol is adding to the stress on your body, not taking it away. What’s more the next day you’ll likely deal with the grogginess with coffee or sugar to pick you up and so begins an endless cycle of attempting to control your energy levels in all the wrong ways.

To unwind the healthy way try running, swimming, dance, yoga, meditation, get out amongst nature, hang out with animals, get a massage, have a hot bath, try an evening with all screens and phones switched off.

Try things out and find what works for you so that you can use it whenever you feel stress building up.

4. Slow it down

When we have a lot of things on our plate the natural tendency is to RUSH. Ramp up the gears and race around trying to get everything done as quickly as possible. Some people (by some people I mean me) can find themselves living permanently like this and that’s how you end up making yourself ill. But doing things in a manic sped-up pace doesn’t actually equal greater productivity. Your choices are rushed, you make far more mistakes and if you burn out you’re no good to anyone.

So slow it down. Make a point of walking slower, eating slower. STOP RUSHING. It takes you out of flight or fight mode and back into the far healthier and far more productive rest and respond mode where the happy hang out.

5. Rest hard

When you’re working hard and playing hard you need to rest hard. It’s not only essential for your physical, mental and emotional health, but it’s also essential for your productivity. So if you’re ramping it up on the project front and really putting in the hours then you need to be doing the same on the resting front as well. Get to bed early. Rest MORE than you normally would and if you suddenly feel a powerful need for a duvet day, then listen to your body and DO IT.

6. Ask for help and support

Whether it’s practical advice or someone to just listen to you as you get some worries and fears off your chest, make sure you ask for the help and support you need. You’re doing something brave and deserve to be helped and supported just like you would your friends when they’re taking on a challenge that is stretching them outside their comfort zone. Don’t try and do it all alone. Let others help you. It’s the biggest lesson all life designers have to learn sooner or later: the power and importance of daring to be vulnerable and asking for help.

7. Your tips

I learn so much from my clients and readers like you. So let me know what YOU do to keep yourself from burning out when taking on new challenges and projects (leave your comments below)

 

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015

It has become a ritual now for the past few years that between Christmas and New Year I send out GOODBYE 2014 HELLO 2015 – a free 10-page guide to help you mark the end of the year you’ve just lived and set a vision for what you want 2015 to be all about.

It takes you through a series of questions to help you reflect on the year that’s just been and get ready for the year that we’re about to step into.

There’s a growing number of us who now do this religiously every year. In fact I know people in London, the mountains of Vancouver, Goa and Buenos Airesthat are getting ready to take some time out over the next few days to do their ‘Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015’ review.

It’s a lovely way to acknowledge all that you’ve been through in just one year. How you’ve grown, the people you’re grateful for, the experiences you’ve had and all that you’ve learnt.

And then the power of it is when you set an intention for the year ahead and what you want it to be filled with, how you want it to feel. It really does work. Just give it a try.

And the beauty of it is that when you start to do it at this time every year, you can read back through your previous ‘Goodbye 20xx, Hello 20xx’ and see the changes in you and in your life as you go from one year to the next. I now have 4 years of ‘Goodbye 20xx, Hello 20xx’ saved on my computer and it is amazing to see how much has changed in that time, both in my life, but also in myself.

I’m definitely not the person I was four years ago

So join me this year in doing GOODBYE 2014 HELLO 2015 whether it’s your first time or your fourth.

x Selina

What dream of yours would you most like to see come true in 2015?

If you saw my blog post last week you’ll know I’m leaping into a whole new chapter of learning. And I am LOVING it. I’m taking myself back to school and creating my own programme of classes from online courses to 121 coaching to help me create a smart online business that really flows and really delivers a great experience to people.

Rather than focusing on playing a game around money, I’m playing the ‘mastery’ game. I want to master the art of creating an online experience for people – that’s you guys – that inspires you to live life the way you really want to live it.

I want to give you, and me for that matter, the guidance, the inspiration and the encouragement that I wish we’d all been given in school: to get on the arena and play full out at listening to our dreams and bringing them to life. To not limit yourself and not be limited by what you fear people will think if you go after your dreams.

That it is always worth the effort.

So today I wanted to bring up with you all the topic of ‘following your dreams’.

And I know that talking about ‘dreams’ and ‘making them come true’ can sound cheesy, but I don’t care, because I have seen over and over again how much following our dreams brings us to life and that’s why I love figuring out what it takes – the practical steps needed, the approach, the mindset – to make our dreams come true, no matter what that dream is.

I genuinely believe that when we start to listen to the part of ourselves that dreams, we are tapping in to the wisest part of ourselves – the part that knows what we need next to grow and come alive. And so taking your dreams seriously is one of the most important things we can do for both ourselves and, quite often, the people and world around us.

So what I would love to know from you today is what dreams do you have that you would love to see come true? And what would you say are the biggest barriers to thatdream coming true for you at the moment?

Be courageous in answering this one. Don’t hold back. I promise I won’t then come badgering you about whether or not you’ve made that dream happen.

I just want to know what dreams people are having out there. Are you dreaming of having a job doing something you love? Starting your own business? Living in a whole new way? Finding love? Making a film? Making loads of money? Taking off and travelling?

It can be a big pipe dream that you’re not even sure is possible or a tiny dream. Either way I want to hear it. Whisper it to me if you like by emailing me at hello <at> selinabarker.com or come and let me know on my facebook page – there is a power in declaring your dreams publically…

I look forward to hearing what dreams are calling to you at the moment.

x Selina

What do you need to learn next to help you grow?

I have had a big breakthrough over the past couple of weeks.

It happened after I finally had to swallow the cold hard truth that, while I may be a great coach and designer of online courses, I am NOT a natural online business woman. I’m just not. I have resisted acknowledging this for a very very long time. And doing so has kept me totally stuck.

Rule #1 when you’re stuck? Admit it. Admit that you can’t figure it out on your own. Admit that you need help.
Rule #2 Go get help. Find your teachers, coaches and inspiration. Do courses, go to workshops, hire people to help you.

THAT is how you will get yourself unstuck and bring about the changes you want to see happen in your life.

For some reason the admitting-you can’t-do-it-on-your-own-and-you-need-help part is really hard for a lot of us to do and that very much includes me.

Why?

Well for me it’s the belief that I ‘should’ be able to figure stuff out on my own now that I’m all grown up and (this part is uncomfortable to admit) the belief that no-one can teach me anything…because I’m smart enough to figure it out on my own thank you very much (some kind of left-over rebellion in reaction to a disappointing education).

In other words, my pride gets in the way.

And this is what I find with many of my clients who have been struggling in life, love or career for years before they come and seek me out to help them. Their pride told them that they shouldn’t need help. That it is some kind of weakness to not be able to figure it out on your own.

But once you break through the discomfort and admit ‘I need someone to show me how to do this’ ‘ I need help in changing this area in my life’ everything changes.

I see it in my clients and I’ve experienced it in myself these last couple of weeks: the excitement that comes with finally giving yourself permission to be a student, to be a beginner and to learn.

Because as human beings we come alive when we are learning. We love it. Learning and growing is what we’re all about.

So take a moment now and think about an area of your life where you really want to see a change. It might be career, lifestyle, love life, business, money, health.

Then give yourself permission to make 2015 the year where you proactively study this area of life and find teachers, courses, workshops, coaching programmes that will help you to make this change in your life.

And make sure you find the right teachers for you. This is essential. Ones that share your values, ones that inspire you and whose lives, careers, businesses or relationships are ones that you would love to have yourself. Learn from those ones.

Here is a quick rundown of some of my own teachers.

Teachers and courses that I recommend

For all you solopreneurs

1.The Overachiever’s Guide to Success by Jen Gresham. Jen is SO insightful and wise when it comes to understanding what it takes to truly feel ‘successful’ (see my interview with her here). With ‘The Overachievers Guide to Meaningful Success’ you’ll figure out what success really looks like to you. So so SO important.

2. Blogging for Business Bootcamp – I’m currently doing this 4 week online course with the wonderful Jo Gifford (aka Dextrous Diva)and it is already having a huge impact on me.

3. Webtech Wonderwoman – everyone should have Jenny on their team. She is a genuine super hero – she single-handedly defeated my hackers while setting up my Project You e-junkie system and kept me calm the whole way through. And if technology is something that has you breaking out in a cold sweat then she is your ultimate teacher. Find out what you can learn from her over at www.webtechwonderwoman.com

4. Free Range Humans – I’ve recommend Marianne millions of times. If you haven’t read Free Range Humans then buy it for yourself this Christmas and check out her courses over at http://www.free-range-humans.com/ – this woman makes marketing feel like a party! I’m doing her mini-MBA over the xmas break and I’ll let you know how it goes!

5. Public Speaking Course (in London)
The reason I am looking forward to a year of running workshops and doing talks in 2015 is entirely down to this public speaking course that I did with Gingerpublicspeaking.com. It totally cured me of my crippling stage fright and therefore reluctance to do any workshops or talks at all. Now I can’t get enough of them! When you have fears – learn your way around them. It works!

For all you single ladies looking for love

6. Love coach
Book yourself in with Vicki Burtt. She worked total magic on me. And in those days she was just a budding coach herself. But boy does she have the knack. So much so that we’ve now teamed up and Project LOVE will be launching soon. But in the meantime, if you want to turn your love life around then get in touch with Vicki and book yourself in for a session: VickiBurtt.com

For all you wannabe coaches

7. The Coaching School

FINALLY I can recommend a coaching course to all you budding coaches!  I have been looking for a good coaching training programme to recommend to people for years and now I have one: The Coaching School is run by the wonderful coach Phil Bolton. I’ve already sent people his way to do his coaching training course and it has been life changing.
The next programme in launching in late January 2015 – to find out more- www.thecoachingschool.co.uk oremail phil@thecoachingschool.co.uk

Goodbye 2014 – what has this year been all about for you?

Hi lovelies,

I’ve rustled up a reflection exercise for us all to do this month as we wrap up this year and enter into the next. If you’ve been following me for some time, you’ll recognise it as the reflection exercise I invite you to do every year.

For me this is one of my favourite times of the year because it is a time where we can all collectively reflect and take stock of our lives,  look back at all we’ve been through and all we’ve done in just one year, all the lessons we’ve learnt and give thanks for the things and the people we are grateful for.

‘Goodbye 2014’ (you can download it as a PDF or word doc for free) offers a series of questions that guides you through reflecting on the year that is about to come to an end.

Every time I do this exercise it has a powerful effect on me. This year has been no exception. I did the exercise a couple of days ago and it was the last question in the exercise that really moved me and made me realise how special this year really has been for me personally.

The question was ‘How would you sum up what 2014 has been all about for you?’. The answer just flowed out of me:

‘2014 was the year that I really learnt to love myself and discovered the magic that happens when you do’.

And that is no word of a lie. The beauty of it is that I marked the start of 2014 with a commitment to myself ‘to really love myself and treat myself like a princess’. I was as surprised as anyone that that is what I came up with. Being a ‘princess’ is not something I’d ever have said I wanted to be treated like, certainly not by myself. But it was such a powerful commitment: It transformed my relationship with myself, my health and my love life.

I’ll be writing more about the lessons I learnt this year over the next few weeks. And as I do I’d love to hear from you some of the lessons that you’ve learnt in 2014.

Head over here to download your free copy of ‘Goodbye 2014’ and see what comes out of it for you.

x Selina

The power and importance of defining what success REALLY means to you

The power and importance of defining what success REALLY looks like to you from Selina on Vimeo.

I loved doing this interview SO much. It is the second interview of my new video series “Inspired” where I interview people who inspire me with the way they live and work.

Well this week I got to interview the fabulous Jen Gresham .  A former US Air Force scientist who changed her life around and became a career coach and writer – and a seriously shit-hot coach and writer at that.

She brings an intelligence and insight into what it takes to create the life you really want to live that constantly inspires and fascinates me.

Above all it’s what she has to say on the topic of success that really blows me away. And I think you’ll be blown away too. Which is why I’ve given you the full 27 minute interview because there is just so much gold in it.

Because how we define success has a huge impact on the way we live our lives, the choices we make and how we feel about our lives.

A HUGE impact.

Way more than I ever realised until I talked in full with Jen about it.

If you don’t get clear on your own personal definition of success you will find yourself chasing things that could never bring you happiness even though society is telling you that they will. It’s actually scary how much our society’s idea of success is causing us to live lives that will never bring happiness and fulfillment.

So watch the video above and then, if you want to really figure out what YOUR definition of success is, grab yourself a copy of Jen’s digital course: ‘The Overachievers Guide to Meaningful Success’



I’ve just bought a copy myself and trust me, I never buy courses – I just know this one is going to make a big difference

Find out more about the course and buy your own copy here

And let me know what this ‘Inspired’ video got YOU thinking about the way you measure success.

x Selina